Review: Karaoke with Candy, Carpenter's Arms, Cambridge Heath Road

THE karaoke night at the Carpenter s Arms in Cambridge Heath Road is the stuff of legends at Lowdown Towers. The last time any members of staff were at the sharp end of hostess Candy, the Slag in Drag s acid tongue was at a leaving do a year or so back, a

THE karaoke night at the Carpenter's Arms in Cambridge Heath Road is the stuff of legends at Lowdown Towers.

The last time any members of staff were at the sharp end of hostess Candy, the Slag in Drag's acid tongue was at a leaving do a year or so back, and the night is still the subject of giggly gossip around the water cooler.

And Candy's razor sharp wit didn't disappoint this time either. As the office trotted across the road for a post-work outing to celebrate (another one of) my 25th birthday(s) the scantily-clad, ginger wigged hostess made time to fire hilariously caustic insults at just about everyone in the pub after opening with a fantastically filthy rendition of Robbie Williams' Let Me Entertain You.

"What have you got there, cake?" Candy demanded when a colleague arrived with a birthday gift. "Don't give her that, the fat cow, that's all she ever eats."


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There's something about being insulted by a 6ft bloke in a dress with supermodel legs that seems to reduce everyone to a giggling doormat unable to offer any kind to retort, let alone an intelligently cutting one.

Braver people than me volunteered to get up and do a number and there's plenty of choice in the telephone directory-like songbook which probably features almost all the pop songs from the last 40 years.

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Of course, we won't mention Eve, Tony or any of the lesbians; our lips are sealed, Cand.

Candy is at the carpenter's Arm, Cambridge Heath Road, Bethnal Green every Thursday from 8.30pm.

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